Friday 28 October 2011

The Multidimensional Window at Cluny Hill (by Franco Santoro)

12 years ago, in November 1999, as I was vacuum cleaning the eastern stairs of Cluny Hill College during a shift in Homecare, I had a glance out of a window in the south-east portion of the building.

There for a couple of minutes I was dazzled by the sight of a figure slowly walking along the nearby road.

I felt a tender shiver in my heart and in total wonder I realised that it was me in the past.

There I was, approaching Cluny Hill College for the first time on the day of my pristine arrival at Forres, eight months before. It was Friday, 19 March 1999, the eve of the Spring Equinox,  and one day before the start of my Experience Week. I wanted to see the place where I would spend my time the following week. I was not supposed to enter until Saturday morning, yet I wished to have a first connection with the environment by walking around the border zone of the building.

I perceived an aura of marvel, penetrating lightness and soothing depth around the building which animated my soul and sense of purpose. Yet a part of me felt shaky, confused and almost tempted to withdraw and return to Italy, where I came from.

As I was contemplating the impressive south-eastern facades of the building, I noticed the shape of a person standing by a window in the south-eastern side. I could not see him properly. His features were unfocused. Yet I could sense the love and light that emanated from his being.

While I was recapitulating this past sequence, all of a sudden and to my complete amazement, I realized that it was perhaps me who was standing by that window on that Friday evening. Although this appeared quite bizarre, it made a lot of sense and deeply I did not feel at all surprised.

From the height of the window, firmly grounded within the embracing walls of Cluny Hill College, I warmly greeted myself, directing a glowing ray to what was once me. I felt such compassion and admiration for the form I was on the first day I saw Cluny.

It required a lot of courage to get to Cluny Hill College and Northern Scotland. It was a quantum leap into a realm I did not apparently know anything about. I was simply following the fragile thread of my heart, with my belly trembling in fear and my head crowded with extended doubts and resistances.

Yet, despite all those hindrances, I did manage to arrive at Cluny Hill College. What a triumphant enterprise! And there I was quietly looking from the window with an overflowing sense of satisfaction and gratitude for my past self, whom I could vividly see through the window.

For a couple of minutes I trespassed the dimension of time. I observed the marionette of myself.

And now, whenever I pass close to that multidimensional window, between room 21 and the door to the basement, I receive a luminous reminder. At times, when I am carried away by the circumstances of ordinary life, I do not dare to look through the window, yet deep inside I know that I may repeat other startling enterprises. I also feel the profound gratitude and honour for all the gifts I have received and given since I stepped into this startling mystery school, which is Cluny Hill College, or I'd rather say Findhorn Foundation Cluny Hill, as it is called now.

As I consider my present, although I acknowledge to be still a naive amateur on this sacred path of knowledge, that window reminds me that I do have grasped some basic clues about the fiction of time. And now, as I swing my fingers on the computer keyboard and write this note, I can timidly envisage the presence of another part of myself.

He watches over me from the future with tender compassion and relentless support. I greet him and rejoice at the imminence of another encounter. And after each shift of observation the goal approaches closer and closer.

A similar experience also happened to me in 1989 during one of my night manager’s shift at the hotel I used to work for in Bologna (Italy). As I was passing by the mirror of the bathroom, I saw the reflection of an unusual figure. It was radiant with beauty and potency. It looked exactly like my physical body, yet it moved differently and stared at me with a wide and jubilant smile, which I didn’t have on my face at that moment.

This being has always been close to me. His ardent glee burns away all grievances. I do not have to do anything to deserve his love and support. There is neither a price to pay, nor a condition to fulfil. I need only to remember. Merely remember that this love has always existed and always will be there for me.

© Franco Santoro, Findhorn Foundation Cluny Hill, Forres IV36 2RD, UK,

© 2010 Franco Santoro, All rights reserved. 

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